May 2013
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
chloweafterdark:
justwatchthesunrise:
Like you can boss me around in sexual situations but you better not try to tell me what to do in regular life
literally
Everyone needs to be bossier in sexual situations
ambassador-of-anguish:
shouldertappingghosts:
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
ohanameansfandom:
Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian I just want to hit them over the head repeatedly with a Bible whilst yelling
ADULTERY ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
LYING ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
DIVORCE ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
DISRESPECTING YOUR PARENTS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
WORKING ON THE SABBATH ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
...
paintmefiftyshadesofgreen:
ulyssee:
cigs4kids:
what if grass licked your feet when you stepped on it
i would do a split
there are two kinds of people
My Doctor Who moment
doctorwho:
bookwormstache:
So today I was sitting in English class and i swear to god I heard the TARDIS
the TARDIS
I got up and asked to go to the bathroom and tried to follow the sound
I followed it to the class two doors down did not knock and walked in
They were watching Doctor Who and one guy at the back yelled
“See Miss! I told you if you didn’t lower it down it would summon the...
rnikedirnt:
rnikedirnt:
my health teacher has a sign in her room that says ‘if you cant handle the word vagina, then you shouldnt have your penis in one’
i wonder if my health teacher knows that shes tumblr famous
chloweafterdark:
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
3-2-1queer:
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
whatisonyobiscuit:
starrysleeper:
tribblesexual-jotunn:
thelilnan:
I am really bothered by the fact that basically the only reason why gay marriage is illegal is because some people think it’s disgusting. You know, I think peas are disgusting but we’re noT MAKING THAT ILLEGAL ARE WE
what’s wrong with you peas are delicious
gay people are delicious too
no dessert for you until you...
disrespectful-dyke:
the worst thing of all time is when lesbians have super hot short hair but then decide to grow it back out
J: Women Out-Math Men? Statistically Impossible! →
mansplained:
I am taking an extremely challenging math-based logic class as I work toward my Bachelor’s degree. Half the class failed the first exam. As the prof was about to hand back the second exam, he took the time to give us some statistics that were, to him, nearly impossible to…
J: fishingboatproceeds: code-red-arthur:... →
fishingboatproceeds:
code-red-arthur:
festusthehappydragon:
darkstoriesofthenorth:
for-one-shining-moment:
subliminal-mind-duck:
John Green’s car breaks down
The Fault in Our Cars
John Green gets locked in a pub
The Fault in Our Bars
John Green…
3 tags
So my little brother was talking to my sister in...
Brother: You're going to fucking die!
Sister: What Shivam?
Brother: your Fat ass is going to die lighting that fucking nug!
Sister: WTF!?!?!
googlehomo:
why is “fuck you” an insult like hell yea fuck me fuck me hard
wizardsandhijack:
hospitalf0rsouls:
Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God…
did Mary have a little lamb?
you broke the world
I just want to say that Bette has a very naughty hand ;)
submitted by chipitita
floozys:
“boys will be bo-“
*flies in*
*punches you in the face*
BOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
bihateual:
i forget how gay i am until i see a girl and then i’m kinda like oh right
“Okay, guy, so why do you feel like you want/need/deserve to settle down with a...”
– Female ‘Purity’ Is Bullshit (via asgardian-feminist)
shavingryansprivates:
why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying
the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died
cutieringtail:
falmyrion:
queerpong:
“YOUR GAY” they shouted. “DUDE YOUR GAY!!!” i ignored them. it wasnt until i got home that i realized my gay had escaped. they tried to tell me.
You’re*
John Hurt to play Ninth Doctor - TV3 Xposé... →
chloweafterdark:
vitalityattack:
As in, the Ninth doctor, making Eccelston the Tenth Doctor, Tennant, the Eleventh, and Smith the Twelfth.
But like. That ruins their ability to keep the show going. That means they get one more actor and that’s it. Also why does he not want to come back for the 50th?
